Day of the deal.

My day has not worked out as I had planned. A road trip to Erwin and then on to Johnson City, TN to finalize the paperwork on a new car for Maria. I love car dealers, they promise you the moon, if you'll take the car today and then like a stoodup bride, you come back three days later to barter, the chasity belt is on and you ain't going to get what is promised. But, what is funny is the fact that cars are not moving and they need the sales. We got to a price and I filled out an application for a loan and then headed for the house. Maria has to bring the BMW over tomorrow and we can finalize the deal.
I can tell you that if they could take that wonderful engine and drive train out of the BMW chassis and put it in a Ford or Chevy chassis, you would have one hell of a vehicle. The BMW chassis will fall apart by a hundred thousand miles, Every sensor (@ $250 each) will go out, the catalytic converters (2 @ about $1000 each plus labor) will go out. They are the most expensive car to maintain, that is on the road. Enough of this.
I get home, after going to Erwin to set off some insect bombs in the basement of my house, but I forgot the keys, opps. I get home and several messages are on the phone, and before I could punch in a number, the company I'm setting up a loan through wants to confirm whether I'm deceased or not, then by the time I hang up and start to dail another number, another bank from another location calls and wants to know if I am deceased. Well, like Alices Restaurant, I begin to sing my song about the day I was declared deceased.
I had to call Maria at this time and tell her all about this ordeal with Best BUY, where I purchased a camera, on a 6 months same as cash deal, and they wanted to change the terms. When I paid it off in five months and made them live up to their "same as cash" deal, well they didn't like that, so they tell the three credit companies that I am deceased.
Maria asks me what I am going to do? I'm going to the dollar store and get one of those baby nipples, I said, "and stick it on a bottle of Ouzo and drink it till I'm just about blind." She hasn't had her 6 o'clock toddy and without breaking stride, says "I was wondering why your marital obligations were lacking"!